My girls are ridiculously beautiful and....

The more I look at them.

The more self-conscious I become and........

I lose confidence.

 

LOL

 

But. I have plans to raise my value.

Both psychologically and physically.

But I first need to get the chores done.

And keep it floating with balance.

 

Alright, revived access to my paypal account.

This leaves me other things to focus on today.

 

 

Listen Douglas.

I told you. You won.

Why are you trying to gear this into another fight?

And what am I here for? Leverage you into legend by beating me up?

I am the legend, bitch.

 

But it is true that I didn't have a chance to let out myself in that fight...

Your moves were way too effective. XD

But mind you, had I had shoes on and ran towards you, and knocked you down,

I could have done the same right?

We are about the same weight and my momentum *could be greater. Unsure.

In the room, I was tackling you down with little effort. (That wasn't technique, just my physique by the way)

 

So lets leave it at that. That I could have had a chance.

In the future I am going to challenge myself into forms of sport.

With you, where there was carnage, it doesn't end well.

It wasn't an honorable fight, nor should there HAVE BEEN a fight.

You probably agree with that, in your sobered state now.

 

 

Oh yeah you took your shoes off.

You're lucky you didn't step into broken piece of glass.

These streets are filth.

And I had no idea you were going run towards me. XD

Was thinking walk towards, and exchange punches. XDDD

 

 

And what if I fell on a piece of glass?

It was the night. You can hardly see.

Freaking savage what you did.

I was thinking far more fair exchange.

Not subjugation.

 

 

"Keep your expectations low."

What? You don't believe I am strong King Charles?

Ask people.

I think you are the one who undestimates me.

But then i'm old now, and gone through a lot,

 I have no idea what I am now.

I do feel terribly weak.

 

But again. I am very certain you underestimate me, King Charles.

 

In high school, in my junior year. I was playing football,

and I was still running with two kids on top of me, on my body. Latching on.

And still dragging with a third person. XD

 

So you have this perception that I may be cerebral but weak physically.

You may be surprised.

 

 

It is an really, how can I explain this...

This feeling of, conflict, comes about in myself.

Shame, brought on by being wronged.

That people's perception of me is weak. Physically.

That place, seems to have emasculated me both physical and psychological.

 

Not that I would want to exaggerate myself.

But see me at the height of my strength in any form.

Your prejudice on to me may change.

And should.

 

I weigh a lot more than I look you know,

currently 230 lbs.

Granted, I am fat.

However, at my top physique.

I had a lot of mind-over-matter thing that went on.

And stronger than I should be, someone of my size.

So your "keep your expectations low." is out of place King Charles.

 

You should ask Douglas.

If he was standing still, like I was, (during those times just dabbling into movement as he was unexpectantly running towards me), *IF I RAN TOWARDS HIM I can surely knock him down.

I did so with my hands in the room. Toppling him down.

Though that may be different.  

 

 

But yeah whatever, I am not here to be proving myself as an athlete anyway.

I think i'm 240lbs right now. Super fat. XD

 

 

As you can see, I have developed a deep psychological complex about being weak

these recent years...

And I feel terribly emasculated...

I wish that I can become fit and engage in sports....

Sigh.........

 

I should be 190-200lbs if I was in top physical condition.

In my 2013 shelter days, people remember my physique...

though i looked slim, i weighed a lot...

 

 

So not weak people. Rather on the stronger side.

But knows jack about fighting. XD

But if I were to punch/kick someone, that would also be,

to your surprise, far more powerful than you would expect.

Not that I want to....

 

 

"R Kelly - I believe I can fly."

Fuck you bitch.

You don't know me.

I remember Kelly relaying something about the runner's high.

and she was in cycling or something.

So you take a look at me, and you deduced I am not physical.

Some would disagree with you.

Nevermind if I got that relay wrong.

And seen the relays where you are 'translating' my words for me.

You don't know me.

And you are guilty.

 

 

and Vic Michaelis is laughing at me as well.

Why do I get these flashes of their thoughts on to me,

laughing at my physicality and potential for atheleticism in any form,

derogated in their minds...

sure there are relays that insinuates,

but... i don't think it's profiling.

so you folks need to stop judging a book by its cover.

 

 

 

I am trapped inside my psychological complex right now.....

Unable to move.

Paralyzed.

My mood has plummeted...

This feeling of unjustified shame overwhelms me...

 

Fuck this world and my height...........

 

 

 

"How David wise composed donkey kong country/ how david wise composed aquatic ambience from donkey kong country."

Nothing of my ideas, has to do with David. Anything aquatic, or anything at all.

He was right there in the house, in the channel, and I was reporting LIVE.

if there was collaboration it would state it then. nor did we speak more than few words at a time then silence. it was a constant tension.

nevermind if I got this relay wrong.

Anybody who tries to steal, anything from me, they are lying.

 

I think david this fucker tried to frame me few times this way,

attempting to steal my ideas and confessed.

the period was short, so i wouldn't call that a big deal.

but if it persists, it is pursuit of harm.

standing on history of framing, and untimely, out of place adaptation

to frame me once more.

 

 

whether it is on pursuit of harm or not, still framing.

it must be charged for the past.

it's not something you forgive.

and dismiss ANYTHING it is portraying itself as a 'friend'.

bad wouldn't exist, if that were the case.

his deeds must be charged for.

it was torture and abuse.

 

I will take this feeling of 'shame of being weak' as a psychological marker,

a precursor to triggering change.

positivity.

better than not feeling that, and no change. XD

 

 

 

Got chores to do. Going ok thus far...

Want to cut my hair and join the gym...

it would appear all the wrinkles have gone to my forehead.

and I need a fat injection there or something.

 

Those relays.

Then no deal.

 

Keeping my ideas for UK alone, we could have acquired immense prospects.

Be wary of that.

This is an fair exchange, not something of your privilege to deduct by excuses.