and no, as you can see,

 

between my sister and I,

 

we have a fake 'nice' tone going on between us

 

as communication. (of being nice)

 

 

 

 

but in reality, she knows the things she did,

 

and that I am aware of it. that i was tortured.

 

 

 

 

this is why she hides the fact that she's had children

in the reconciliation emails, few years back.

 

 

and it goes back to the abuse, trying to keep

me from studies. i am ending her contact by saying,

 

'you're doing it again'.

 

 

 

but those are actually far gentler passive aggression,

then she did back then.

 

 

remember her attempt to destroy me by trying to refund

cryonics account.

 

remember her other attempts on the channel.

 

 

every possible fucking way.

 

 

 

since i was a kid.

 

 

if i've any mental illness, it's because of her.

 

 

anxiety, self-doubt in sophophobia (fear of studying, or beginning

things), low confidence and all that,

 

a lot of things she contributed.

 

 

and she often contradicts herself as well.

 

 

whatever she feels that befits her mood.

 

 

but ultimately, if I am rising up. her goal was to deter

me from it. even the slightest chance of it,

with psychological/emotional disturbance of some kind.

 

 

and the husband was in on it every step of the way.