Ok.  i need to calm down before I kill myself with stroke.

 

Apologies for my behavior.

 

 

 

My statement stands.

 

 

King Charles,

 

 

If I may speak frankly,

 

 

you don't seem to differentiate what it takes to be a King,

and what it takes to be a father.

 

 

 

As King, your first priority was not jeopardizing the deal

with me, for the progression of your country's economic

development.

 

This means, you don't rock the boat.

 

This means, if there is enough evidence, you do not let

these people go. Not by your assumption and prejudice on me.

 

 

Secondly, whatever parental 'guidence' you wanted to give,

should have came in AFTER I was allocated safely in U.K,

having met you, and having analyzed who I am in PERSON.

 

 

You have greatly, underestimated this, and acted based on

your ASSUMPTION based on the information that is gathered

from the channel. Wrong move. Wrong idea.

 

 

I am a very creative person. I think you have a sense of this already.

I was very much abused even as a toddler, by my father. You know this.  

 

My voice, my mannerisms, my behavior seems different from one setting

to the next. As per judging by the information that is being given.

 

Subconsciously, I have a deep fear of conflict.

And more deeply in fear of myself losing control and ending up in violence.

No, not any violence you've seen on the channel.

 

And my mannerisms, my voice, I don't even recognize myself,

and it only looks weird to me in reflection. In the moment,

I am thinking of the fight or flight response, and I am acting in many cases.

 

And completely indulgent on whatever is the issue for me as well.

 

That kind of psychology and behavior would be difficult to understand.

 

It only makes sense to me, in reflection.

 

 

So the point being is this.

 

 

You are judging.

 

 

You are assuming.

 

 

Further, you have no conceivable idea what kind of anger I hold in myself.

 

I am not saying I would direct this toward anyone.

 

 

I am saying, when I see injustice, despite what seems like your better intent,

 

what you believe is a lesson for me,

 

I am wired to hold this as anger. Injustice. Disrespect.

 

 

 

What kind of psychology do you think a child develops, if he was exposed to absolute terror,

IF he lived in the fear of his own death since the age of 4?

 

 

I have honestly not tried to kill anyone in my life.

 

Some light harm perhaps, but only as a reaction to their initiation and damage that followed on me.

 

 

 

 

But I am tortured, ENDLESSLY by the thoughts of killing people.

 

 

It twists me, day and night, wanting to kill people whose wronged me.

 

 

And I am sometimes engulfed by this anger that I cannot move.

 

 

My heart becomes weak, cold. I can feel my bloodflow disappearing.

 

 

Or the opposite.

 

 

It is a mental illness. Due to my father. Once a child is exposed of these emotions, and it so happens in repeat,

 

you can't get rid of it.

 

 

I was tormented my WHOLE life over this, and I could not even study for myself. It only grew worse.

 

 

 

So maybe I am not a good person.

 

But I fight myself. Not to give into this.

 

 

 

 

So where am I getting at.

 

 

 

You, letting these people repeat themselves. Making fun of me. All this time.

 

 

How do you think I was living, with my mental illness?

 

 

How do you think I am taking this monitoring, humiliation going?

 

 

 

With my mental illness?

 

 

 

Do you think I joke around, why you think I am taking this lightly?

 

 

 

 

 

So. I believe that you don't know me. So do most of these people.

 

 

 

 

 No. I am not a candidate for your throne. Prince William is.

 

And no, even if you refute this,

 

 

the damage is already done. I've half lost myself to anger, my mental illness.

 

 

And you do not know, but you were the cause of it. Greatly.

 

 

 

 

I am not someone who should be socializing.

 

I should be isolated, and focusing on my work.

 

 

 

I can love, I can care for.

 

But that would be surrounded by normal people.

 

People who wouldn't use abuse as a way to get their messages acrossed.

 

 

 

 

Any chance of nolmalcy of my mind ---- stability,

 

you've ripped the chances of this.

 

 

Because i'll be thinking, torturing myself on killing people like Steve.

 

 

And I don't say this as a joke, or some immaturity.

 

 

I am saying, I have a illness that I cannot help myself from doing so.

 

 

 

And I am saying, you took that chance away from me, that moment of peace.

 

 

 

I hope you can understand who I am.

 

 

 

And how you are pushing me into brink of insanity.

 

 

 

 

What you feel is a lesson, a life's philosophy. This. Belongs to someone else.

 

Someone who lived a normal life.

 

Who has a normal psychology.

 

 

So I will not blame you for it.

 

For I already understood it was your misguided philosophy.

 

 

But what I am saying, is that I am not compatible with your values.

 

And I would be tortured by it.

 

 

This is not a joke.

 

I am not saying this out of immaturity.

 

 

 

I would not blame people who did not wrong me.

 

I would not hurt people who has not applied harm on me.

 

 

 

But I spent a considerable time thinking about killing this fucker.

 

And few others, in fact.

 

 

 

It's not just imagination....

 

To some people i've known, it was. It was a coping mechanism.

 

 

 

But some things are different.

 

 

 

 

So where am I getting at.

 

 

 

 

My apologies for my own illness.

 

 

 

But I am sorry to state, we are not compatible people.

 

 

I am not saying you are a bad person. Nor do I think your family is.

 

No doubt you have your own 'carnage' and violence in you as well.

 

 

 

But I am saying, your effect, trying to teach me a 'lesson' or to affect in some way.

 

Through this. Letting my enemies go, or exposing me to continued harm.

 

That is something I cannot be compatible with.

 

 

 

You are correct in that, you must first had to judge what you are bringing into your family.

 

And this is what i've unfortunately resulted into.

 

 

And no, I wasn't always like this.

 

 

Many years of torture, and self-torture. Led me to become this, unpredictable character,

who cannot even be aware of himself at times.

 

This is not because of autism. Nor do I have autism.

 

Please don't romanticize that I am a good person.

 

Or a evil one.

 

 

But please do recognize that I am a person suffering from a certain illness.

 

And I cannot, for the sake of my well-being, be included in your way of teaching.

 

 

 

Madness is not something I aim to aspire into.

 

Stability is.

 

 

Please do understand, my entire life, I was emotionally manipulated.

 

When I see these things happening.

 

You have no idea what i'm going through.

 

 

 

 

I will live in USA.

 

This is not to antagonize your family or your nation.

 

I will work for the benefit of everyone.