...if a person continue to bully/harass

another in deceitful ways,

and becoming a threat to his well-being,

function. following erratic,

intimidating behavior.

 

the topic of mental illness must come up.

 

one of the first thing within few minutes

of meeting Douglas, he told me about his

condition, that "he hears voices to harm

someone" but he ignores it. he has said it as

a medical condition, he seemed mature about it

during the time.

 

then he kept asking for help in different things.

(with a character on. first it was child-like, sheepish,

then it turned into scarface type of behavior (first jokingly,

which was also hard to detect as he kept breaking my words)

and also following self-depreciating rhetoric talk,

that i'm seeing him as a "pet following him around" (something like this,

jokingly) of course, i corrected him, i do not see anyone that way.

there were many hints of self-comparison. (this was the second day of meeting

i think, as I was taking him to the library)

 

many things began to turn in a far, darker tone.

 

as his mischief turning to unreasonable repeats, as we agreed,

and he breached, tension followed, and ill emotions.

 

then despite reconciliation, he hung on to this,

and expressed his anger behind my back,

and directly, amongst the roommates as well.

though he appear to have reconciled with Joshua, John.

they had their share of his taunting as well.

 

i was deeply concerned for effect that would spread,

but especially because of the channel as well.

it can trigger envy, then following irrational hate

by some. and if he is one to help this. that was also

a big concern.

 

my choice to try and connect to the people he was connecting to,

was inevitable. as i've sent a letter prior, but no help was being given,

no help *could have been given. I don't know. It should have stopped long ago.

 

my mentioning, his mental condition first time. (same place, same audience)

i apologized for. it came as i was trying to reconcile with him in public,

so to show that i have no ill feelings. (so to keep people from complication/harassment)

 

second time was after he refused to hear my concerns,

i went back to the same place, same audience.

 

i was focused on the fact that he was bullying.

that my temporary anger, of which we reconciled, wasn't from my vanity.

 

from this, he was angry, and began initiating a fight.

i did not focus on schizophrenia i believe. rather he asked me,

that i said this, and i said sorry then? I can't remember.

 

whichever the case, i went there to resolve, to show that

i am not harm. that i am not a person dangerous as Douglas made me out to be.

 

to this, i believe Douglas had two choices:

 

1. to keep a conversation, try to state his facts, defense. and reasons why.

but he was never in the state of accepting any of past behavior.

to his peers, it would appear that he didn't do anything wrong at all.

 

i was simply the bad guy. still he could have simply argued.

try to come to a conclusion. an intellectual discussion, and getting to the

nature of things.

 

2. but blaming. no remorse, or honesty for his own wrong.

his image had to be saved, or for other reasons having being in the channel.

the pushing contest prior, sizing me up, he initiated a fight.

 

i am writing in its entirety.

 

Please understand, instead seeing only the above choices,

from my side or Douglas,

 

the 40-50 days i had endured from Douglas,

the bullying, the erratic/angry behavior, and harassment from random people had led to this.

 

it is not the other way around.

 

 

and please note that, even after all this,

i was there to try and discuss. i did not go there mad and insane.

i was polite, beginning with an apology having to take their attention from the television.

 

mostly my attempt to talk was met with laughter.

 

then as i tried to explain further, i was met with Douglas' hostility.

 

 

ultimately, i am thinking deeply on the give and take.

whereas i can understand a certain anger triggered if my intent was to

make him look like a disabled person, to insult.

my attempt of focus was on the fact that there was bullying,

and the fact that we had reconciled.

of which are the facts that he could have simply admitted to,

spoken like adults, drop the ego, and shaken hands.

which is exactly what i was hoping for. certainly not a fight.

 

 

my belief in that Douglas should be punished still stands.

 

 

it is not the physical damage that is the ultimatum of decision i believe.

but the process of psychological bullying.

 

many of which i believe at this point, Douglas has admitted in the channel (I believe).

His dual-sides and hidden intent of harm.

 

which also, followed an violent intent.

 

 

 

whether this is to be dismissed as something light,

something that happens everyday, or if it is indeed cornering,

both intended psychological and physical abuse....

 

 

i myself, compare this to my previous encounters in life.

and i do not think, his actions were that of from an ordinary person,

with ordinary intent.