I am going to write how I feel.

And I will be honest about it.

 

 

I don't know if this capital punishment assertion is but a way to lure me into agreement, therefore making me look like that killer, when that was a foundation and outcome by the law.

 

But I will write believing in that outcome and why I am choosing that outcome despite.

On my extended family. If not others.

 

As you can see from my baby photos to the age of 8,

I grew up trusting my extended family from my mother's side.

I did not know my father's side of the family we seldom met.

 

That memory of childhood growing up with them.

Is embedded in my mind. Engraved in my heart.

As fondness, loving care and trust.

As would any child.

As would any man, remembering that childhood.

 

So I was afraid that if I would be the one left to the choice of taking their lives.

I would be left alone and be driven by conscience and live a life of torture.

Who can go on wiping out your known family, the only family you have ever known.

And what of the children? What of their suffering that would follow?

 

But even as I tried saving them with improper excuses citing passion.

I feel the sting of their callousness that does not go away.

 

That they agreed together in my suicide, exchanging letters between them.

That they completely removed all 'heart' towards me, in that instance.

Where I am at my most vulnerable state. Never asking or hearing my words.

 

And all means of backstabbing occured with my sister following.

 

And that they tried to make me ruinous financially and kept me from succeeding,

FIERCELY, as a competitive effort. Not with their own ideas, but hijacking mine.

And conspired with them. My attackers. In framing.

 

It is their incredible arrogance and callousness. And prejudice.

Without give and take, without judgement.

And even after seeing what they have done to me,

justifying and saving them. My sister and her husband.

 

Correcting grammar:

I have decided that, I don't care.

And that it is fair.

It is fair, what they are *(as to the status of punishment by the law).

Their blind lopsiding advantages to my attackers,

as they alienated me, as they tried obliterating me. (1)

As if my life itself wasn't enough to take,

my success, my future they wanted to destroy. (2)

And my rights of justice as well. (3)

 

They are things that...

suppresses conscience to their advantage. At will.

And nothing exists beyond it.

No fair give and take, no fair initiation to reaction.

Nothing.

Just their preference.

 

And for that.

I will no longer protect them.

 

And I hope the law agrees in their punishment.

In one form or another.

I don't care what.