I cannot be subjected to abuse,

this distortion of my reality,

*at another's control and laughter.

as i feel my mind fleeting at times before despair.

of all that i have disappearing, all that worked for,

by their framing, by their image assigning.

 

my priority is the court and getting in there.

this is where my money is spent.

preparing. in that little 200 a month.

and few assets that may get me a tool or two.

 

to continue working in that abuse,

i realized it is tantamount to suicide.

as i no longer recognize myself,

emotionally, identifiable character i used to be,

and physically, increasingly...

 

and that suffering can be disappearing in an instant,

should the Royal family chose to help.

but they know better,

despite my choice.

 

why. why put me on highest of hopes,

to have it fade?

to love without proof?

to contribute, to be framed by my blindness?

 

i have been dying for a very long time.

even as i breathe.

 

and my quest through this depression,

is one that of regaining my existence.

my reality, that is blocked from access.

and you have no idea,

you do not know.

what is a violation.

 

 

i need to sleep...........