"She never even knew she had a choice."

That is not the point. Even if it were.

(Actually, both of us could have explored if we had a choice)

But I gave up early because I knew it was impossible.

Parents who don't speak a lick of English.

A crazed father. A broken home. Often fighting for what felt like life and death.

(Or imminent threat thereof, that air of tension and violence) Even by my sister.

I got out of the house with the help of my mother at 17. And I haven't seen my father since.

For me, there was too many things to improve.

I wasn't as I am now.

She was already complete.

One may think she would've been understanding, and helped me rise,

but in that process, we wouldn't have been mature enough to endure that either.

So would have broken up inevitably. I was too far off.

So why I said it was written.

I don't blame Ariko for that choice, but there definitely was a choice. Be honest.
I looked pathetic so didn't give it a chance, rather she toyed and taunted when she was near me. Sticking her lips out and stuff like that during those times she was dating. (Or maybe before) Isn't that so. XD

While the context of that song was true, in a poetic way.

I believe I also had an intuition she was a bit vain. When our mutual friend William and I spoke, he said "She's not worth it." And while I was attracted to her, she seemed prideful and becoming wild, a bit shallow. So that wasn't someone I admired for years. I agreed with William on a certain level.

But my feelings lingered because I was weak and delusional.

So that is the reality of it.

 

Who to blame? No one.

We were just stupid kids and cultured differently.

And I had my own situation to fix.

 

Basically "FOB" (Fresh off the boat) cannot compete with someone who lived their entire life in Canada and grew up there. In the most simplest sense. XD

But it was far more troubling than that in reality.

 

Sigh...

 

Ariko. I am not the right person for you.

Some are just fated to be this way, and you are holding on by the heart.

It is not worth it. I am not worth it.

Nor are you to me.

We are not worth it for each other.

 

I wish you well, and if there is any sort of obsession. It has to go.

 

 

 

I am sensing that this fucker Steve, is taking this chance to support me.

Do not be misled on its character. It is simply diluting itself to the mass.

This is lowest of the low.

Stay the fuck out of my life.

 

 

 

Oh yeah, I remember Ariko saying she was "hostile" in a passive way,
when I was with these 2 random girls, and one of them asked me to hug her,
for some reason. So I did. I think she broke up or something. XD

Back of the school? Was Ed there? I don't know.

But I just recall her using the word "so hostile" and that was towards me,

because I have been investigating on the blowjob.

 

Daniel, who was Paul's brother, I just walked with him to his home.

It was pretty big house. It started raining.

He told me, Paul said, "Ariko, that fucking bitch!"

to which Ariko replied "Misunderstanding".

So there was something strong that went between them as well.

 

I reemmber that. haha

 

 

 

"To my soulmate, best of luck".

Well, I don't think we are soulmates, no.

There was a connection, certainly.

Obviously not strong enough to begin.

And something that each of us,

built up as false anticipation.

Without spoken words.

 

I wish you well Ariko.