By mental illness, social anxiety in such a way that,

I felt this extreme shame of how I was raised, and my family,

alongside the fact that at some point,

I became way too sensitive of everyone around me.

To the point where, what I read, even as I would read again and again and again,

the same paragraph, not so sophicated, would not register in my mind.

I became too aware of people in such a way that, it felt invasive.

I am no longer like that. But back then, it was something.

And there was a lot of things I had to move on from,

like revenge and all that on my father's violence.

So basically I was a spoiled brat who needed councelling,

and if situation was dealt with wiser people whose had power,

proper help into re-integration into society, and figure out my strengths.

But... There were none in my life.

Just evil, one after the other, exploiting the chance, that I am in a vulnerable state.

And as luck would have it.

Here I am, yet again. :)