......and i wish i didn't write that as people will keep on criticizing. XD

 

 

 

ok. woken up randomly.

 

what to do this day....

 

 

 

ship the tablet for repair.

 

 

 

grab free food....

 

 

 

tax forms....

 

 

 

 

The only good from these conflict, is that it is a confirmation of reality.

 

that all this is happening for real.

 

 

and it's not my imagination alone.

 

i'm past that. I don't suffer from that 'imposter syndrome' anymore if i'm labeling

my state of doubt correctly.

 

 

there were times, i had to keep checking the facts.

 

at times, i thought i was going insane.

 

 

5 years of this, without official discussion or anyone to talk to about.

 

there is no tangible evidence but my own force of will.

 

 

alongside manifestation of my ideas by my will.

 

can then, a person create their own realities by the force of their will alone.

 

 

 

isn't this how people go insane over time?

 

but yes there are evidences even for me, though it is quickly faded away as feeling.

 

 

 

it is me vs this screen i look at.

 

 

though records fade away buried in a timeline i can no longer retrieve...

 

 

having multiple names prior, was a good idea to identification by relays as well...

 

that helped.

 

 

these days abundance of communication. despite being indirect contact still.

 

not worried about sanity.

 

 

worried about function however as my situation don't improve over time...

 

 

just hoping i won't develop health complications due to these lifestyle i must abide by...