I probably regretted it still saying that to Steve.

I was probably making it worse.

 

So I think I tried retracting it as well.

 

Situational evidence is there.

 

*That I was fearful, and was expecting myself

to going to jail.

 

*There was already no real trust between

Steve and I. If you will read the emails,

and previous interaction.

 

*That people were already referred into the

channel, and I am aware of this. Matter of

time Steve will be as well.

 

It is just manipulation, already knowing who he is.

 

 

So don't doubt this. It wasn't about Mr Lee.

At all. About my sister and her husband.

 

 

But yes, despite being mentally, probably

severely ill. (I told you about how

I struggle to remember my own identity

for brief moments. I can feel my mind leaving.

And replaced by someone else, as in my own mother.)

 

That is coming from unwillingness to accept what was.

 

I was suicidal at one point.

 

So no, nothing was as simple as a 'grudge' against

Mr Lee. Do not get the wrong idea. While I can

act in abandon, I wasn't as vain as I indicate.

 

I had no actual 'grudge' to Mr Lee. Just maybe

some aspects I wasn't too fond of.

 

It was solely about my sister and her husband,

that led me to that insane stupidity.