Just sent a farewell message to my sister,

and about any misunderstanding she's had on this gay thing.

 

That is, if she's not misleading.

Transgender? Did I troll like this?

 

I can't remember for the life of me.

But it is a possibility, if it was with mom.

 

I trolled a lot with my mom.

 

Also, she would often try to put me into college.

Or make me go back into studies,

and I would try to come up with an excuse to avoid it.

 

Often talking about father and abuse as a topic.

 

I can't remember the dialogue now, but certainly,

many things are possible trolling my way out. XD

 

I just wasn't ready to face the world as I was.

 

She just wanted me to crash myself into it.

 

Obese, judged or not.

 

I feared people terribly during those times.

 

 

I mean mom wanted me to enter university.

 

I wanted to as well, but I couldn't get over this

persisting social anxiety. Super fat I was...

 

 

----------

 

 

She and her husband was, one of the darkest,

if not the darkest people i've ever seen.

 

But my sister, she could shift if she felt like it.

With an undertone of creepy hostility behind it,

even if she was in a lighter mood.

 

I don't know if she has any remorse for things she's done in life

WITH her husband.

 

I don't know what to feel right now.

 

There's so much damage I received from my sister

since I was a kid.

 

I know logically, I should feel sympathetic emotions for her,

but even the very thought of her puts me on the edge.

 

In alertness.

 

 

I hope she changes in the future.

 

I hope I can change enough to forget the past as well.