every person gaslights.

 

someone told them it's 'illegal' to be giving me the link.

 

to keep me in the blind.

 

in purpose.

 

 

who was this person, or authority?

 

 

singularly setting me as target to humiliate in public.

 

without defense. without rights.

 

 

while they observe me, through the looking glass.

 

 

and i have no choice but to abide by it.

 

 

 

 

do i benefit from this setup?

 

being blind?

 

it gives me a chance to focus on my work, with less distractions,

because i can believe whatever the hell i want to believe.

 

i can ignore what is happening, i can buy into my self-gaslighting.

 

and in that state of ambiguity, i find freedom.

 

and at some point, you realize, if you are to go into the channel now,

i would have to forfeit the 'competition' or productivity, because

there are so many to address. so many to fight against.

 

not to mention that i would probably fall ill. and at critical times,

when i have to focus on survival. it is never a great time.

 

they should have given me access in the beginning.

they should have given me my rights, as at least to the observation of defense from my attackers.

or waited without setting the final verdict. how many times did i have to revive?

 

and why were the people, knowing that i'm in the blind, kept using this situation?

and at what point, was enough? my generating ideas?

 

and until then, why couldn't you people wait? for fair observation and defense?

 

while i did fear going into the channel now and then.

 

i requested i be in the channel whenever i thought i was in danger or when i felt ready.

 

this too was ignored.

 

i returned to this many times. requesting that i be in the channel.

 

it was ignored.

 

 

 

now i look back, i wasn't in danger. those times were gaslighting.

 

something about my mother.

 

they did this as a prank.

 

it was psychological abuse.

 

 

 

 

at this point, i don't know. it is indeed advantageous for me to be focusing on work, instead the channel.

 

but i fear that they will be using this as a opportunity to make unreasonable excuses.

 

and nobody will defend me, or even recognize that defense for me.

 

only i would see the permutation, because i am in it.

 

 

 

 

but again. besides the details of which i should be seeing,

 

i mention the obvious, very obvious basic rights i should have.

 

 

and that is something like bathroom hacking, and public display is extreme harassment and abuse.

 

the moment you people seen it, you should see it as an assault.

 

instead, by doing nothing, you only state that you find this entertaining. no big deal.

 

some people commit suicide over loss of dignity.

 

just because i joke around trying to gather my spirit back up, it doesn't mean i'm not fighting it.

 

 

 

what you are doing, nothing short of slavery, harassment.

 

you deliberately restrict my rights of receiving support.

 

you delay my progress and at the same time, you monitor everything i do, every research method i would use,

for the benefit of others without my permission.

 

all this is a mess,

 

and the point is, exploitation is allowed.

and nobody is doing anything about it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

there is no way, they didn't recognize the insanity behind this.

 

and even now. as i complain again and again, what should be restricted,

what privacy is being invaded. what do you do about it?

 

nothing.

 

i am mocked relentlessly, gaslit, misled, from everyone.

 

why the hell is the bathroom still being hacked and displayed on public?

 

 

there is some serious insanity going on here, and these people from USA they are

seeing this as entertainment.