On Viktor's relay,

 

about a gay coming out to a mother followed by buffalo bill.

 

That is interesting.

 

I remember talking to mom about how emasculated I felt

during my teens due to my father's violence, and that

i felt like a sissy, and i've developed these homophobic

tendencies of which I suffered for years ---,

and then, I proceeded to tell her that I "transcended"

the concept of gender and sexuality. At that moment,

she replied she was the same. That she "transcended"

as well. (We were weird people)

 

Of course I don't know about mom, but I personally

didn't "transcend" anything. I was trying to be a

sage-asexual-zen master wannabe. Maybe trying to

justify my being incel at the time. Recluse,

obese.

 

I spent most of those nine years thinking about

vengeance to my father. Only to later realize that

I am following fears, what i've 'lost'. To retrieve

this. Be that as masculinity, or 'pride' or something

of this nature. I felt like a 'coward' with many

psychological complexes. But I realized at some point,

those days were gone.

 

If those relays are direct insinuation, then my sister

must be twisting words to make me look in a certain

way again.

 

It is deeply disturbing. This, attack in someone's

sexuality. I can assure you, I have no desire in

engaging myself with raining dicks. xD

 

As for my sister, she needs to stop crossing the line.

If to fight, fight fairly, not in this filthy,

disturbing way.

 

She knows well that I am not gay.

 

I may indeed be bit of a pervert, pornography addict,

at some point, (quite some years) but they were never gay.

 

nor am I 'bi'. .....deeply, deeply disturbing.

 

just stop.