8:50pm

 

dizzy. feel it in the eyes.

slight nausea.

 

taking unisom to sleep better.

lack of sleep no good.

 

 

 

why is this life this.

 

highest of the highs.

 

and always,

 

the lowest of the lows follow.

 

 

 

had i a lowly thatched cottage to call my own,

and not worry about what to eat.

 

in that safety, i would have been a happy man.

 

 

it wouldn't have taken much to find happiness.

 

 

but i became a target instead.

 

 

you who has chosen me to follow this path,

you must recognize that i have become a target because of this..

 

and in a way. it would appear everyone has chosen my path.

as they accept my ideas.

 

then. please understand that i must be protected.

please recognize what evil is being attracted.

 

and recognize that all i ever wanted was peace.

 

not fame.

not fortune.

 

just enough to find stability.

 

they attack a man in the sky, who has become an idea.

 

but had they known who i am,

as i desperately tried to.

 

to escape them and myself from inequality, the comparison.

the competition. they would not listen.

 

leave me be.

 

i was never your enemy.

 

 

reading again, it sounds in a way self-serving, almost comical.

sounds like i'm talking about someone extremely important.

 

i can never see myself that way.