*Ecuhome completed. (Wednesday, Oct 5th. Now wait.)

Look for message after Oct. 21st.

---------

 

Thursday: (Walmart, 12pm. *Ask rest of the dosage.)

Completed.

---------

 

Friday:

 

Call Dental. (Schedule for next week).

Call Paula. (Leave voicemail about tax forms)

(And update on the progress of ecuhomes)

 

*Try to buy microSD for tablet.

*Try to buy mSATA for laptop.

*Later to buy a laser printer if you have enough.

 

 

---------

 

When ready:

 

Passport.

Healthcare card.

Service Ontario.

 

---------

 

 

 

With some people, even if you're nice to them.

It doesn't matter. They go back to whatever is in them.

And backstab you however they can. This sort of thing

much more, if you are rising. If you see harassment,

people from the shelter, ask what i've done to them

personally. Most likely, I was nice. Criticize them instead.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Whichever the reasons are,

I believe it is multiple.

 

One would instinctively know,

affecting me directly will

cause controversy in the channel.

 

And if he was aware of the existence

of the channel, participated in it

prior to all this,

 

then no doubt, he would have understood

how personalized it is towards me.

The flow of the channel then would

be shifted for his attention/his image.

 

Where if to connect to his son,

If for any recognition......

If for defamation, to trigger something,

by action, so the mass would follow.

Thus resulting to gain of somekind.

 

From what went on, the constant

deception, yet persistent passive-aggressiveness

it would seem evident he instinctively

connected few of the 'advantages'.

 

There is no way he would not have

thought about being in the channel

afterwards. And having seen the flow

of things, he would have aimed to affect me

in the worst of ways.

 

I don't know. This seems absolutely

logical. But observation there

from the channel would know better.

Whatever went on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Wow, I don't know who to trust on the relays

now.

 

Nor do I understand correctly.

Whatever is going on....

 

 

 

Just few days prior to fight, I remember telling

him that I was a "paper tiger". There was

no ego from my end. Some pride over strength maybe.

(Probably my delusion at this age)

 

For him, many things he did were contradictory,

self-indulgent/selfish, rebellious despite agreement.

Despite we reconciled, I could see this negativity,

hostility present (hidden). And to him, he was always

faultless, whichever things. Despite the offense.

(Whenever I tried talking to him of his faults,

he would deny emotionally, storm out of the room

or deliberately become distant, or angry grumbling, etc,

not in a state to talk)

 

In whichever case, it was clearly violence

and hatred how he reacted. Whereas I tried

speaking from my perspective, this wasn't

allowed. Halted from speak, in madness.

Asked me to 'take it outside'.

 

So I don't know if the context counts.

That he kept that violence despite my suggestions,

and went for violence using my state of balance

against me. I will not write the details again.

 

My yelling to him, which was momentary.

It's the result of him breaching the agreement

immediately (as with other occurences)

and going for, only for him to contradict

himself again. And it happened in different ways,

always silent once questioned. He does

what he wants in the end. If he's shown that

he wouldn't, it would become ambiguous quickly.

 

And the offenses, little or big.

Ok. it's pointless to write without stating facts.

This writing is a bit ambiguous.

 

I will need to look back on my own writing.

Let me know how it turned out for him.

 

And I am seeing relays on how I am 'attacking'

just so I would 'win'.

 

No. There are many things that were wrong here.

I was foolish enough to think in brighter

circumstances. If you read my writings to Milena,

I originally thought he was a 'gentle' person.

My opinions changed as I watched his many behaviors,

and came to realize what he was/trying to do in

the beginning as well. Joshua confirmed it,

as i observed again the erratic

behavior. it wasn't my imagination.

 

 But seeing him in the public,

how he reacted. It is again, contradictory

to previous interaction one on one.

If we hugged and pat each other on the back,

shook hands and talk of peace, calling myself a paper tiger,

playful compete in the room pushing. I didn't expect

a serious cheat, in combination with violence, subjugation.

He was there to think about his image.

Violence never should have been suggested as well.