and if he's being let go

because i got frustrated at one point,

(because he was insistent he continue,

even after agreement)

"stop! or i'm gonna go crazy!"

 

as he was temporaily startled

and jumped on the bed,

 

he got the wrong idea.

 

I remember saying "see these tears welling up

in my eyes" (and i said this the second time

when the stabbing thing was insinuated)

 

to state that i never meant such hostility

as he was thinking. and i apologized.

(as he seemed startled)

 

we hugged, and gave each other a pat on the back.

 

at some point he shook my hand saying,

"sorry for saying shit about you johnny"

 

 

so there was clear reconciliation and clarity of intention

misunderstood.

 

and what he did *after, and decided not to clean up

making me look like the bad guy,

 

that had a lasting effect on me in the shelter.

 

why he didn;t clean up is to keep his own image.

 

while aware that i was complaining.

 

only much much later he spoke out,

but it still went on, so i had the right to express

what i experienced, stating facts others experienced as well.

 

then there came violence.

 

 

 

 

 

so if everyone let him get away with this harassment that followed violence....

 

 

you are really screwing me over here.

 

 

 

yes, clearly,

 

 

he should be charged.

 

in all these instances, a common theme:

in sake of keeping his image,

'i' can be sacrificed, along with the harassment/heckling toward me.

in sake of keeping his image,

violence too, was acceptable.

 

i was in a completely different page.