9:46pm.

 

I had a extensive talk with Douglas.

I told him where and how it began 4 years ago.

 

During the talk it has occured to me that,

 

 

1. I am going through a paranoia of sort,

suspicious of people, and cameras.

Electronic devices.

 

2. My emotions are haywire, or bottled up

in such a way that I feel like I am fighting

everyone, and everyone is against me.

 

I feel like I need to fight back

by with logic, investigation, and even

intimidation if needed (but only as far as this,

by words) i feel like lashing out often.

 

so i am not in a good place.

it is a place of anxiety and panic.

and angry toward people like mr musk,

who is entertained and gloats at my suffering.

 

 

 

Douglas and I are 'good' again.

 

And I do not wish to run mind gymnastics

trying to stop someone from repeating *possible harassment.

 

I have no idea in the end.

It's just stupidity between us.

 

I want to stop being suspicious.

I want to trust people.

And whether they betray or not,

that is where I want to stand.

 

I cannot live like this in the constant state of panic and fear.

 

I hope you can understand,

 

what you people have put me through,

with your indecisive actions,

with your deluded sense of what is transparent,

what is fair as my right.

 

you people who allowed Adam to continue this,

you should be charged the same.

 

you, most of you. the authorities in the States.

you are corrupted.

 

and i don't understand why Canada doesn't protect my rights either.

or attempt to.

 

i hope you will be judged.

 

the only reason why i even bother keeping up with this.

that all is not gaslit, false info.

 

is because i trust Mr Gates and Mr Bezos.

 

by nature i do not trust someone like mr Musk.

but i will keep up with this.

 

 

 

i trust that. though my trust breached and betrayed,

over and over again.

 

you who are seeing these on-going harassment.

the monitoring, the attacks.

 

i hope you recognize what this has done to me.

 

 

you people are insane.

 

 

you allow these bullies to continue.

 

you dismiss their wrong with highly selected segments of the law

in an attempt to favor their actions despite knowing this is insane.

 

you delay, you stall.

you suppress my rights.

 

yet the attacks you allow. you permit.

 

you look at yourselves in the mirror in your damn privacy

and tell me where my rights were taken.

 

i hope somebody begin seeing things clearly and sort this out.