I am seeing this relay about a toddler being told to go to a room

to pray and coming back with a snarky remark to his father.

And the sister is talking about this.

 

Something like this has happened.

 

But those are cherry-picking the very few moments and instances

where there was seemingly better times.

 

As I grew up, I became far more... dark.

I lived often in fear, and the insinuation of violence,

the presence of threat became stronger as I became older.

 

 

My father I believe was a mentally ill person.

 

He saw me as a threat, something that could overpower him one day. (Physically)

 

I have written previously about "to instill fear while the cub is still young".

 

Dramatic, but that is what he said with a sick smurk on his face.

 

 

All the violence either direct or indirect, the thug-like behavior,

it wasn't justified. It would only drive me mad.

 

And the presence of that unreasonable authority,

fearful that next time about, he will shoot me with his gun,

if I went against him by words on his abuse. It was always there.

 

I haven't seen him since high school.

 

 

 

 

What Wongi's mom remembers...

 

I think is just a spoiled child.

 

And she probably believes that I was hit in a disciplinary way.

 

But if you express the intensity of *how and *why I was beat,

the motive behind it. If she was there in the moment,

 

I don't know. I don't know the psychology behind that generation of Koreans.

If she thinks that is okay.

 

The eye-bruise alone when I was 3, by a punch from father.

On the photo. This alone should show what kind of senseless hits I got.

 

And for Wongi's mom to know this, and still supports my father's behavior.

I will not say she's a understanding/good person.

 

(If that is the case, if she refuses to show empathy)

 

 

What I do know is that, even a small fraction of that kind of violence

wouldn't be tolerated to her children.

 

 

I lived with people who were, who had no sense of,

what is out of the line. What was human, what was not.

 

What should be dealt with a child,

for what reason, and how.

 

If you believe that I was simply a sensitive child

who could not stand some corporal punishment, think again.

 

This is one instance: (and it repeated about once every 6 months or so, something builds up in him and explodes.  

until the age of 13, then it became more verbal threats, and brief instances of direct violence, like slap on the face)

 

It was full case of severe bodily harm (bloody bruises that left me unable to walk for days and sweating in fever) and terror (frozen, unable to move, then going back and forth

rocking myself from corner of the wall, out of my mind and mom comes up hugging me) (this actually happened, not a movie scene)

 

And if I were to mimic that behavior on anyone,

most people who are not trained, will simply freeze in fear (or shocked at the absolute nonsense of it all, the absolute stupid savagery)

and will believe immediately, the person is insane. Or would want to subdue him with violence for those who can.

 

 

And the thing is,

many Koreans in that generation, tolerates this.

It's somewhat 'okay'. It's just domestic abuse, none of their concern/business.

 

 

Now if Wongi's mom thinks that is okay.

 

If that is 'corporal punishment, or disciplinary hits'

 

she needs to wake up, and see who my father was.

 

 

She hasn't seen violence. Nor does she understand the meaning of violence.

 

 

And if she does. And yet still chooses to pursue support for my father.

 

Then that is cruelty inside her.

 

 

I apologize for my assumption, if it is my assumption.

 

 

Note that even my extended family admitted to how violent my father was,

the photo, and my father himself has apologized in public.

 

So I am not aiming for incarceration, no point in trying to destroy a mentally-ill old man who can't harm people.

However if he's done something to mom, he needs to pay.

 

As for genuineness of that apology. It's like this: It is but that moment.

But if something gets in his way, it would change again. Completely feeding his ego.

 

So that is how it was.